To the USA: I want to call you "home".

 I quite don’t understand the meaning behind patriotism yet. On September 11, 2001, I went to school just like any other child, I returned home , did my homework, and took a nap. I probably would have remained sleeping on my living room couch had it not been for the commotion my family was causing as they huddled closely to the television hearing the evening news. Univision kept repeating the same image: two buildings, two airplanes, fire and smoke.

Perhaps it was the lack of a connection between the event and my personal life, but I didn’t tear up, feel nervous,  or begin to hyperventilate. I was simply shocked. I didn’t understand how the “land of opportunities” my parents migrated could result in a “land of fears.” My perspective of the United States altered after the event, where it no longer remained on a pedestal.

My elementary schools years allowed me to grasp a basic understanding of U.S history. Text books were always bias – in favor of the U.S – and unwillingly, my perception has been altered. I can’t fully blame my education; my parents play a significant role. Despite our poor economic conditions, my parents reinforced the idea that we were better off living in the U.S than in Honduras due to the vast resources that they provided.

That night, my only worry lied within one sole question: Where do I go now? The next days,
I expected my parents to give me a sign that we were moving to a distant country – one that could ensure our safety. After that week, I knew I we weren’t moving. I didn’t question my parents. I made sure to watch the news, waiting for a breaking news story. That day never came. Life went on and nothing changed. I’ve always wondered if people reflect on September 11 and think thoroughly of the nationalism it stirred and whether they felt a sense of unity.

              
I still don’t fully understand the meaning behind September 11 yet. I expect that my four years living in Washington, DC will give me a better understanding of what it means to be an American. I was never part of a community that embraced the red, white and blue. This country has offered me so much, and I feel dissatisfied knowing that I have not yet developed a sense of nationalism. Perhaps that day will come and I won’t be left waiting.